Dear Canada

Well, Canada, it's been a long half month. Longer than half a month, in fact, making this the longest half a month ever. But I need to tell you how your television makes me feel.

When I was in my hotel room, I wanted to have a cultural experience, oh Canada, by never leaving my room. I hit the remote control button to expose me to Canadian tv. Why is it that you kept speaking to me in French? Why is it that of the first three stations that spoke to me in English, two of them had on Ophra Winfrey? Were you trying to make me feel at home, or just cheating me out of a cultural experience? Do not judge me by Ophra Winfrey and Dr. Phil. They mean nothing to me. Show me some quality Canadian programming. I did not know, until I saw your television advertisement slogan, that "All Canada is watching Lost." Thank you for exposing me to quality United States programming that I had never seen before. Thank you for telling me which television shows were actually Canadian, since I apparently can't even recognize any U. S. television programs that don't appear on the WB. Thank you for showing me that law lelevision show that was not Law and Order. Thank you for showing me that authentic Canadian programming television show that had the letter Z in the title that featured commentators who watched sketch comedy and then discussed it--honestly, it was really cool, it reminded me of an English class discussion.

Even though I have left you now, I shall always carry with me the experiences you have given: my first experience of watching the show Lost, the feeling of being unwanted because I did not have a birth certificate with me, the feeling of trying to figure out why honey mustard tasted like gravy, and the quandry of how to write my 50th post in such a way that it mentioned Canada.