Behold the Rampant Cuteness

As you might know, our blog is having a pledge drive for comments this month. One of the greatest challenges in leaving a comment is thinking up something substantial to say. We don't want to say something unless it contributes meaningfully to a discussion. Our heads demand we say something of import, but then fail to provide us with anything that is so.

There is a resolution to this dilemma. Cuteness. In my personal research into what kinds of blog entries elicit commentary, I have noticed that other bloggers have hit the veritable gold mine that is visual cuddliness. If there is a picture of a cute baby that has sprung from the loins of the blogger, the blogger will receive comments like, "That is such a cute baby! You are incredible!" People whose normal self-surveillance says, "You must not leave a comment unless it is meaningful" turns off when a cute object enters the room. (I suppose this is analogous to men's brains apparently functioning less coherently around a pretty woman.) Look at our two very cute cats there: Cricket (the black one) and Pippin (the white one). Do you dare not affirm them? It's almost like Cricket is saying, "Tell me I am cute, or Pippin will be forever SUFFOCATED! It does not matter how insubstantial your comment! Tell me I am cute NOW!"

Okay, I suppose I should be honest. Those are not pictures of our cats Cricket and Pippin. I don't know how to take my own photos and put them on my blog. Even if I did, I would not have the patience to stalk my kitties and try to say encouraging things so that they would eventually perform actions that revealed their cuteness. But does it really matter that these cats aren't mine, and are from cuteoverload (posted July 11, 2006)? There are plenty of bloggers out there who reap praise for having babies that are cute, or having cats that are cute, not for having any cuteness of their own. And frankly, even the babies can claim no credit for their cuteness, as it is a gracious gift of God. Sure, I don't "own" these cats. I don't "own" other people's babies. However, I do have internet photographs of them, and according to Amish tradition, that means I own their souls. I believe that this gives me the right to post pictures of them and get accolades for their accomplishments. For those Marxists among you, help me take back the means of production, i.e. cats and babies. For those of you who admire cuteness, leave a comment now, before the cat that is not actually Cricket does something rash and violent. Praise the cuteness ... before it preys upon YOU.