Don't Judge a Book by its Cover

The nice thing about being a graduate student is that you rarely have to return library books. While the lowly undergraduates who pay for my stipend can only have books out for–you know, to be honest, I don’t know when they have to return them, let’s say they can only check them out for two days, bwah hah hah–anyway, while they must return them within an obscenely short period of time, I only have to return books every six months. Better yet, I can automatically renew all 200+ books already checked out to me on the library’s web page without ever locating them amongst my bookcases and bring them in, meaning, ideally, I can check out a book for six years. I suppose they like to think that, before clicking on the "renew all" button, I verify that the books are actually in my possession and where they are, but who has time for that?

Unfortunately, the library does occasionally force you to return the books that ought to belong with you when somebody (usually another grad student or faculty member) "recalls" them. This usually consists in sending you an email that says, "return this book in two weeks, or we will freeze all your assets," inevitably listing a title you don’t even remember checking out. A month later, after the email is thoroughly buried in your inbox, you’ll receive another email, "no more late returns, we mean it, anybody want a peanut?"

What happens far too often is that, once you spend an hour looking for the book and conscientiously return it, you are penalized by having another book recalled from you. It is rather suspicious that, after returning volume one of Paul Ricoeur’s Time and Narrative, immediately afterwards, volume 2 is recalled from me, and then later, volume 3. It is also rather suspicious that I keep having books on narratology recalled–books with titles like, "Narratology: an Introduction," "Narrative Discourse," etc. It is as if some unseen foe is stalking me, and every time I return one of the books, he or she looks at the bibliography and finds out even more books to recall from me.

Since we’re leaving to visit family for Christmas vacation in a couple of days, I decided I’d better return all the books being recalled for me. I spent about fifteen minutes looking for the recalled title "Narratology and Narrative Discourse," which, according to the library’s web page, I hadn’t returned yet. I couldn’t help but think, "I must have returned this book, its title is so familiar," since it sounded the same as every blasted book I’ve been returning for the past month. I have a bookcase which, at present, I call my "Narratology bookcase," because it’s supposed to have every library book on narratology I’ve checked out. I looked over the bookcase three times, carefully, and found nothing. I typed in the book on Amazon to try to get some hint about what color the freakin’ book was, in the hopes that would ring a bell ("no image available"). Why doesn’t the library, instead of just sending me the book’s title, clarify, "that white book with blue stripes," which would have been far more meaningful than just listing another book with narratology in the title.

After leading a life of loud desperation for fifteen minutes, I suddenly had a "Duh" moment: All this time, I had been looking for a book that would say on its spine, "Narratology and Narrative Discourse." Surely you see now how foolish I was: what if the book didn’t actually give its name on the spine or cover? Sure enough, I found it: A book which on its outside says nothing but "French Literature and Language Series Vol. XLVII" (or something like that). You must actually open the book to discover that it has a different title.

So, I suppose my experience has led me to several innovative suggestions: 1.a book should give its actual title on the spine. 2.if you are a library that receives a book without the actual title on the spine, let your patrons know what the spine is going to say when it is recalled from them. 3.Even if the book does include the title on the cover, remind patrons what blasted color the book is!

-Leopoldtulip