I'd like to buy a word, Pat

The Online Etymology Dictionary has recently made available the option to "Sponsor a Word." If there's a word in the English language you've always sort of had a hankering for claiming the etymological privileges of, now's your shot! For just $10, for six months, you are added as a sponsor of the word and can place a message of 100 words or less, plus your picture! See http://www.etymonline.com/working/deal.php

Cool as this is, the "Star Registry" is even cooler--you get a star named after you and a neat booklet all about your star. In the twenty-first century, colonialism and slavery are just not viable options, so it's nice to know that even if we can not control our fellow human beings, we can still buy the farthest reaches of space and leave a permanent mark on them (or, at least, a permanent mark on a little piece of paper).

It strikes me that the "online etymological dictionary" could learn a little bit about marketing from the star registry. Part of the limitation for the dictionary is that, even if the star registry can (apparently) buy a patent on stars, you can't really buy a patent on a word. Or can you? The problem is that the dictionary only offers the etymology of words that are already in common usage. Since I am a graduate student in need of money, I am selling off some words that are not in common usage, along with their etymology. For a small fee, I will be happy to name any of these words after you. For a little more, you will also possess full etymological rights to the word. Look at the fine selections below!

educodomophile: A person who doesn't like to stay at home. (L. educere "bring out," from ex- "out" + ducere "to lead." L. domus, "house." Gk. philos, "loving.")

Pinguisphobia: a fear of fertile men. (L. pinguis, "fat, oil, sleek; fertile." Gk. phobos, "fear," originally "flight.")

belbelgbot: a possessor of a belly button. This can refer to a person born with a belly button, or someone who has purchased another person's through the Star Registry's parent company, the Belly Registry. ( Akkad. Belu, lit. "lord, owner, master." O.E. belg, "leather bag, purse, bellows," root for "belly." O.Fr. boton "a button, bud.")