French Fry

I've had a nasty cold, so I often have really weird dreams while I'm a quarter-awake, such as that by turning the blanket a certain way, it functions as a remote controller to put on a new episode of Moonlighting (this was also the DVD I got my dad for Christmas). Well, I was in bed a couple nights ago, and suddenly realized that there was a tasty French fry in my mouth. So, I decided to eat and swallow it, and it certainly did seem to taste like a French fry, but I also noticed it was crunchier than even a large abundance of crispy goodness could possibly account for. In my stupor, I pondered, "Where did the French fry come from, anyway?" The realization that a French fry had inexplicably materialized within my mouth started to wake me up as I suddenly had the scary thought--what if it wasn't a French fry at all? What if I had actually just chomped up and swallowed one of my teeth? (I'm not making this up.)

After a minute of sudden alertness and a burst of adrenalin (which would keep me awake for another thirty minutes), I remembered that I had taken a cough drop before bed. I can only assume that my saliva had transmogrified the cough drop into a crunchy French fry (or at least altered its accidental properties). My mom has earlier warned me against taking a cough drop while I'm sleeping because she's afraid of choking on them, but I was never convinced. I had been mildly afraid that sucking on a cough drop all night might give me cavities (that is why I take the sugar-free kind), but I had never anticipated that taking one might result in waking me up in the middle of the night from the fear I had swallowed a tooth. People just don't tell you about this sort of thing where I come from. Please pass along this warning to any sick people you know, even if they don't have colds, just to be safe.